Britt's 2008 Spring Angel Story: Coming Out of the Spiritual Closet Part One

© 2008 Britt Nesheim

My guides changed last fall. In a reading with Maria in January she told me that this year I would have a lot of choices, that my new spirit guide was
male and that he would be helping me let go of my fear of not having enough money. I thought this was great and looked forward to the upcoming
changes. As always, what my spiritual guides had in store for me was not what I imagined nor planned for myself.

Late in January I traveled with two coworkers on a business trip to London. On our first night there, the three of us went to a pub in downtown
London. One of my coworkers is a widow. Her husband committed suicide four years ago and she is still mourning his death. In December I started
to emotionally pull back from my husband. I did not understand at the time that I was dealing with pent up feelings of resentment because I have
been giving selflessly to him for a very long time. In return he has asked me for more than I want to give. I reached my limit in December and
emotionally retreated.

At the pub in downtown London, I complained to my coworker who I will call Lisa (not her real name) about my feelings in my romantic relationship.
Because Lisa regrets how she treated her husband before he committed suicide she encouraged me, enthusiastically, to appreciate my husband.
This was hard for me to consider. While Lisa talked, I felt her husband's presence strongly but did not want to say anything to Lisa because I was
afraid that I would threaten my professional credibility with her if she knew that I have a very strong metaphysical belief system. So I decided to be
conservative and said, "Have you ever thought about seeing a medium?" She had not and told me she was a skeptic. So I stopped talking about
metaphysics.

Much to my surprise my friend and coworker who I will call Alex for confidentiality-sake began to tell us a story about an out of body experience he
had when he severely hurt his back while skiing. Alex and I have been friends and coworkers for several years. Our friendship is very supportive
and I trust him. We banter with each other about the differences between genders and he loves to keep track of how many men hit on my at work
(it's a game). The angels have worked changes in my life through Alex; therefore I paid attention. I sat there and thought to myself, "Hmmm, my
angels must be trying to tell me that it is okay to discuss metaphysics with my coworkers." But I still kept my mouth shut.

A month later, Lisa and I made dinner plans. She invited another worker who I will call Robert. At dinner Lisa asked me to share a story with Robert
about how (okay, all these names are made up, I'm not going to explain that again) Donold played a prank on me when I brought some angel
figurines in to decorate my office cube. While I was telling the story to Robert, he asked me out of the blue, "Do you see auras?" I was shell
shocked. I hedged. I wanted to back out but decided to tell the truth because I wanted to help Lisa with her mourning process. "No, I see angel and
fairy lights." "Really?" Robert asked, "What do they look like?" It turns out that Robert's wife is psychic. So I shared some more. We talked
metaphysics some more and I encourage Lisa to see my friend Maria who is a medium for spiritual counseling. To my amazement, Lisa makes and
keeps the appointment with Maria. Since then I have become Lisa's metaphysical coach as all of this is new to her.

The following week I corresponded with Fairy Intuitive Tracey and asked for a reading. In her reading for me she sensed that I was feeling resentful
about giving more to others than I had been receiving and encouraged me to pull back and take some time out for myself. She sensed this in my
spiritual work and efforts. She also sensed that I am not a natural communicatior/teacher and that I must become inspired to do this. I am more
introverted. She is right. I am always nervous about putting myself out there to teach the Goddess class because I don't actively practice goddess
based techniques nor do I participate in goddess groups. When I went to Pantheacon this year, I resisted the witch workshop I went to based on the
book Adiranna's Thread (I really wanted to run out of there but felt stuck because it was a closed circle) and enjoyed the class taught by Caitlin
Matthews on ancestors. I created the goddess class to understand ritual and magic and past lives and Avalon. I was inspired to create the goddess
class when I did a lot of past life regression therapy work to heal the romantic crisis that my husband and I went through between Feb 2002 - Feb
2007. At the second goddess class this year, only half of the class showed up even though all of them had paid in full. I was disappointed because
teaching for me has a lot less to do with the money I receive and lot more to do with the appreciation I receive.

I shared my disappointment and sad feelings with the students who did come. They offered to do a reading for me. Both readings were powerful and
deep. (I'm so impressed with the students I work with.) Sylvia's reading explained that the resentment I was feeling had less to do with how much I
was receiving from my spiritual students and more to do with the fact that deep down I am feeling resentful because I am not being myself at work
and not sharing the metaphysical side of me at work. She explained that my two lives have been seperate for too long and that this year this would
change. "Wow," I thought. She went on to explain that in a past life during the Romans reign, I had been a powerful priestess who taught people to
seek and follow their own power which comes from within rather than to look outside of themselves and loose authority of their lives by giving up
control to someone who wants to rule them. It seems I became a political figure, many people listened to me, and the authorities took care of the
problem by beheading me. I wonder if this is why I actively follow the presidential races and national politics. Emi told me that I have been hiding my
inner and outer beauty from the people I work with and that this is what has been bringing me down. My guides encouraged me to come out of my
spiritual inner shell with strong boundaries. I explained to Emi and Sylvia that I had been afraid of shining brightly because at my last company when
I did my best and shared my beauty and joy with people during a romantic crisis, powerful men became jealous of me and tried to impress me, one
man wanted to sleep with me and asked me to, and I worked so hard I became exhausted. Emi and Sylvia then saw a pendulum and explained that I
had swung too far in the opposite direction.

As I drove home from class I felt the pain in my neck from the beheading and I knew that Silvia's reading was accurate. By the time I arrived home
and walked in the door, I felt resentment ooze out of my heart.

The next day at work, my friend Henry pings me on Yahoo Instant Messenger and says to me, "I'm dying to tell you something secret." I responded,
"What? What? Tell me!" Several hours later he comes around to my cube and asks me, "Have you ever Googled people you know?" I blushed. He
had found my angel website. Within sixty seconds my fears eased. He loved it and his boyfriend (Henry is gay) loved the website too. Both of them
were very impressed and Henry's boyfriend, who is more serious about his spiritual studies then Henry is, wanted to meet me. Wow, I had another
friend to talk about metaphysics to at work. These were the changes Maria was talking about.

Since then I was at Moonfyre for the latest Angel Circle meeting. I flipped through one of Louise Hay's books on famous quotes by several different
metaphysical and spiritual teachers. I was drawn to the quotes by John Gray the author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. I have
owned that book for over ten years and have not read it since I was in my twenties when i had very little romantic relationship experience. For the
first seven years of my marriage I lived off of the thrill of infatuation. When my husband and I moved to the Silicon Valley in 2002 he put his
workaholic tendencies into overdrive and I felt emotionally abandoned and fell out of love with him. Healing that took a long time, a total of five
years. After flipping through the Louise Hay quotes book I decided to reread John Gray's book on gender and relationships. I started this week and
am realizing that it is natural for a man to take us much as he can take in a relationship if a woman appears to be happy. Because I'm a natural
happy spiritual healer who gives unconditionally, I appear to be happy often. A woman needs to learn how to get her needs met by asking directly
for more and by withholding if she has given too much and feels empty. I have definitely been feeling empty since December.

One more story and then I will leave you for now. In February I did a reading for a woman named Lindsey. When we were done with the reading she
told me she found me on the Internet and was very taken by the personal stories of Incarnate Spiritual Beings on my website. She then proceeded
to explain that she was the owner of a retreat center in Washington and a director of the Fairy Congress and asked if I would be interested in
speaking at their Fairy Congress this year. I was not expecting this at all. I said, "Okay, what does that entail?" She said she needed to present me
to a committee and ask for funding. I passed the committee review and they gave me enough money to pay for the airplane ticket, so I'm going.
Before and after the reading I saw Archangel Michael so I feel like I was getting set up for this. I would never have initiated this on my own. My
guides had to get me to do this one. Definitely not my idea.

Please note that after my reading with Tracey I am seriously considering scaling back on the number of times that I offer the Angel Circle or
stopping it entirely in order to write more about my metaphysical experiences, an interest of mine which has haunted me for a very long time.
Because of my enthusiasm for fairies I plan at this point to continue to offer the fairy and angel certification in person courses and will stop offering
the goddess course in person after this year. Because all of my classes are documented and recorded, they are always there for you if and when
you need them even if I'm not there in person. We can work together over the phone and/or via email which worked great for Tracey and I and we
live on the other side of the globe from each other.

More coming soon.

With Much Love,

Britt
Inspired by Angels

     Britt Nesheim
Judy Mastrangelo
I Give You Star Dreams
www.themysticalvisions.com